David Letterman's Crazy Extortion Sex Scandal Confession Tape

By now, you've probably heard that CBS news producer "Joe" Halderman allegedly tried to extort $2 million from David Letterman in exchange for keeping mum on Dave's office flings (they both dated Stephanie Birkitt.) Once it becomes a criminal matter, it's in the public record, so Letterman went ahead and confessed to being a hound dog. He wasn't married, so the use of the word "affair" doesn't seem right, but he was the woman's boss (rumors of other women abound), which gets murky.

Plus, he's old, which gets a bit lecherous. 

Ultimately though, we think if the sex was consensual and there was no quid pro quo on getting promoted that Dave's a grown man. And, perhaps, the heir to Robert Evans' throne. 

Whatever you think of the situation, the way Dave tells the story is mesmerizing. He starts slow and slowly builds until the audience is in stunned silence, which he snaps them out of with self-deprecating sex gags.

It's an instant classic. 

(Ed note: That's her in the screen grab).