| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| 4th of July Under Attack | ||||
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Jesus H. Christ did not sign the Declaration of Independence just so some namby-pamby Seattle do-gooder could get the city's fireworks display moved away from an abandoned gas plant. That isn't why Jesus died on the Washington Monument for us.
Knowing you Schroeder, you probably didn't even bring any presents for pret-ty girls. You meddlesome Commie bastard.
(by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 2:11