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A new product has hit the market that will revolutionize the way Americans get fatter.  Introducing the fast-food-feed-bag, which will now allow Americans to stuff their faces without even breathing.  Now you can get down three burgers, a large fries, and a jumbo milk shake without having to waste a single second moving food into your mouth.  Once motorized wheel chairs become affordable for all, we will finally have achieved mass nirvana.  (by Austin Keenan) Running Time: 1:46
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This great video appears on  TheOnion.com
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