So your attorney has prevented you from publicly apologizing for your tremendously inappropriate behavior? Well, he's probably really pissed now, because not only are you out on the internet bumbling through an "apology" ike...

Poor girl. She doesn't know when to lay low. The best way to avoid this problem? Err on the side of the caution. Don't even give people your name. Also, try to wear a mask.

A friendly tip from the Daily Tube: next time you're introducing a new employee, and she happens to be black, stay away from the phrase "separate but equal." If you can't abide by that rule, just shut up. Slowly walk to your...