Just FYI: This is a dramatization (we're pretty sure). In her neverending efforts to snag the nomination, Hillary Clinton hires a hitman to take out Barack Obama, only to find that the dude's gone gay for the Illinois Senator.

You know Brett is a cold-blooded killer--only the toughest guys in the assassin business get paid in cookies. This latest from the sketch outfit VooDooWop introduces us to a hitman who doesn't mess around, whether he's...