We bet Manny and Guillermo had a big salty time on National Tequila Day, which is apparently a separate holiday from Cinco de Mayo. It's a made-up deal, probably "invented" by Sammy Hagar, but who cares? It's Tequila Day! Now...

Now that Manny Ramirez is settled in at Dodger Stadium (6 HR, 21 RBI in 16 games), we thought it would be a great time to revisit this interview between Guillermo and the braided wonder. (We missed it the first time. Sorry,...

He had to, otherwise the I'm Going to Slap Jimmy Kimmel Across the Face documentary wouldn't work. 

One of these waterbugs saved another man as a teenage lifeguard in a banana hammock and can still hold his breath under water for 99 seconds. The other man is Guillermo. Give the portly Mexican a break, he made it 50 meters...

Unnecessary censorship even works with Presidential hopefuls; it makes Barack sound tougher like one of them guys what still eats "Freedom Fries." 

$4.50 a gallon = $11.6 billion in quarterly profits. Fair to say, in this case, the joke is on us. Thanks, oligarchies!

Tagline of the summer: "Stop doing....bad...stuff."

The FDA announced last week that it's safe to eat tomatoes once again. Cousin Sal celebrated by whipping them around Jimmy's office. It would seem the Kimmel staffers have a lot more fun at work than you or I. 

This edition of "Unnecessary Sesame Street Censorship" is brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel, perfectly-timed bleeps and the letter F. The "(bleep) you baby!" proves once again that context is everything and even the innocent can...

Listen Mamacita, Elf didn't suck and your mashed potatoes are always lumpy. And because of your insubordination to Hollywood royalty, Stepbrothers Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are going to work the wiener like a speedbag....

The "black Michael Jackson" says you should write your name on your kidneys, lest they be harvested by Chinese kidnappers in a midtown hotel. 

Cousin Sal is a HACK! Whose refereeing this pop-a-shot game? Tim Donaghy. Makes sense, Uncle Frank probably put some scratch down on the outcome. Well, what Sal lacks as a fair-minded carnival hoopster huckster, he more than...

We were devastated to get the news that Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman called it quits after five years. What cute funny woolly children they could have had! For the life of us, we couldn't figure out what drove the Late...

Jimmy Kimmel is merciless when it comes to his amigo security guard. Guillermo admits to being scared of water, heights and exercise, and still has to tackle the "Killer Surf" for his stupid talk show host boss. And for...

And we say it wasn't unnecessary. Those potty-mouthed furry little f*ckers have been getting a free ride from the FCC for way too long. Yes, you too, Elmo. You little pr*ck.