The recession has caused many Americans to lose their jobs, and the result is that there is now a new class of homeless bums facing terrible predjudice from hobos who have been sleeping under bridges for years.

Despite electing the Messiah for president, society will crash within the next 13 months.  Spend the rest of your money on this exciting program!

This just in on the Onion News Network's live feed from the halls of government. Rep. Robert Ingersol (R-SC) details the "chronology of and methods in which I murdered a hobo for purpose of recreation." We think this topic...