Old money and new money, together at last, doing what rich people do best--cocaine and condescension.

The sudden death of hyperactive TV pitch superman Billy Mays broke Americans' collective hearts. His autopsy indicates that he had cocaine in his system, leading to the following response from the world: "Oh! I'm surprised!...

Who can keep up with all the tasks programmed into an iPhone without a boost from tech-geek's little helper?  Just by its very title, you can ascertain what's about to happen here.  This might be why Apple has a problem with...

While the media licks its chops and waits for the Ashley Biden cocaine video to surface (though it probably won't ever), we can all get a good laugh from a good, old-fashioned Hitler caption-swap.

In a decade where seemingly every movie featured a swishy, homicidal, coke-dealing megacapitalist, Bennett Chance stands out from the pack. This is his story.

In this weeks edition of The Most Imaginative Ways to Smuggling Drugs, meet the man who converted the cast for his broken leg into a giant mold of compressed cocaine. His ingenious plan sure makes those poor mule saps who...

Send this to the guy with an ego so big, he masturbates in front of a mirror. He won't thank you.

"I'll get the beer and the nachos, you get the hookers and the samurai sword."

A crackhead, cokehead, methhead and... um, chocoholic come together to fight crime, which proves that, beyond any shadow of a doubt, Amy Winehouse might as well be a mythological hero at this point. She's literally four...

This Geico parody commercial underscores one of the sad truths of our time: Robin Williams is not funny. Not even a little bit. Not anymore. We're sure there was a time that he was actually edgy and interesting...we just...

In this clip from the recently-overhauled Best Week Ever -- yes, it's basically The Soup now -- new host Paul F. Tompkins deconstructs/mocks Lindsay Lohan's inexplicable need to weigh in on Barack Obama and promote a line of..

Next up for Johnny's girls: catching Obama in a compromising situation... or, maybe just throwing a bag of cocaine at the foot of a black campaign volunteer and taking a picture.

Helen Mirren may win Oscars now that she's in her early-60s, but the celebrated actress apparently like to hit the powder back in the 80s. In an interview with GQ, Mirren admitted not only to snorting cocaine, but also trying...

We're still trying to find the logic in this crazy FunnyorDie campaign ad. (Who knew Obama rhymed with "Yo moma" and McCain rhymed with "cocaine"?) Still, maybe it brings up a good point: We'd much rather have a rubber ducky...

CSI fans will remember Gary Dourdan as Warrick Brown, but time away from the cameras seems to have sent the actor down a drug-filled spiral. Dourdan was arrested, disoriented and babbling, on suspicion of possessing heroin,...