"R.E.M. is right...That's me in the corner, losing my healthcare."

Our conscience tells us that we should abhor Jake Byrd doing what he does at a healthcare rally, where citizens are trying to get their point across about the...

"Hell no, Debbie Rowe!"

Even the notorious billyclubbers known as the LAPD can't keep Jake from expressing his strong feelings about who should care for MJ's kids. He's not on medication, but he is on the Today Show.

Not to...

We're going to use the powerful words of the "Celebrity Avenger" himself. When Jake Byrd shows up to be the proverbial turd in the MJ custody hearing punchbowl, "Win-win, baby!" 

Michael, you always be our ninja.

Mercifully, the 24/7 coverage of Michael Jackson's death is over. And yet, all the internet has to show for it is a Super Mario Brothers homage to the King of Pop. It features Jacko's avatar from the classic Sega Genesis...

And that's the way it is...

So pretty young things repeat after me, I said Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na), Na Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na)...This reporter will take you there. Tender lovin' care. Good night, Cronkite. The news anchors we'...

Bill Maher is all fired up that his summer vacation meant he was away from the punditry desk for the death of Michael Jackson. To make amends, he comes out with his sardonic guns a-blazin', comparing the dearly departed King...

Wait just one Mama Se Mama Sa Mama MaKousa minute here!

Are you telling us Michael Tackson is doing fine three weeks after the death of Michael Jackson because he's more of a Prince fan? That's not why Stephen donned his...

Bubbles was visited by three ghosts.

The ghost of Jackson 5ive cartoons past.

The ghost of the Elephant Man's remains present.

The ghost of The Wiz yet to come...

If there is a certainty in the day-to-day reportage of our beloved television news anchors, it's that celebrity deaths bring out their dignified best. Too often, their work during these moments of third-party sadness for the...