We hear you loud and clear, little bookworms. 

We'd much rather drive a sword into our hearts and jump into a volcano filled with sharks than read Palin's memoir too. 

You know why you can't stand the sight of her, right? 

Because you're an elitist who can't handle a real American who kills stuff with her bare hands in her God-fearing state of Alaska.

If you find her unlikable because she...

Hold on there just a minute. Are you telling us that there's a Toy Hall-of-Fame and that they've recently inducted ball? To proudly sit alongside stick and cardboard box?

Eff Santa and his North Pole workshop! We're off to...

We're with Mr. Cuddles. There is no way sitting through an entire hour with Sean Hannity would be preferable than ending it with dignity. 

Thanks for watching. 

Who cares that it's half-assed and phony?

SEAN HANNITY APOLOGIZED TO JON STEWART!!!

You effing nailed him, Stewart. Bow down and grovel, Hannity.

You're through! 

No joke. We're serious. It happened. 

All because of a little something Jon Stewart likes to call "television footage." 

New Daily Show fat guy Josh Gad looks into how Barack Obama and his team of Ivy League eggheads came together to destroy the time-honored American art form that is crash-up derby. 

Go ahead and sit there all smug, Austan...

We know Shepard Smith is an advocate for unreasoning over at Fox News, but Sean Hannity too? Judging by this clip, in which the nutjob news anchor addresses a Jon Stewart rant about the Sean Hannity Show using old footage...

And crazy Michele Bachmann explains how two crazy Hawaiians flew to Washington to present her with a "beautiful precious lei" and that "the one who created this lei also created our freedom."

You know what? Her nutso behavior...

In an effort to thwart the healthcare bill, GOP House members pulled out all the stops.

That's right, the big guns. 

Limericks and the Amish. 

Fear ye the butter-churner, who is really a healthcare-witch burner. 

He's not saying that Hitler is stealing Glenn Beck's internal organs, but take a look inside your large intestine...

IT'S ALL THERE!

Acorns, Glenn Beck's hemorrhoids, appendicitis, and livers and stomachs organ-izing together...

Up in Maine (aka America's freak show), the pro-gay marriage vote was dropped into a boiling post off water, screamed to be set free, died, then was dipped in butter and served up for the sanctity of the asshats who scared...