Many researchers believed this day would never come.  In fact, the popular woman's magazine, Cosmopolitan, has managed to document and catalog every single aspect of male sexual pleasure there is to discover.  Great news for...

The study found that visual appeal has little to do with how popular products were.  In fact, making a pizza that looks like a gory combination of dog food and human intestines actually increased consumption considerably. ...

Right now bills are being passed to cut all funding for children's healthcare as a result of this surprising study.  When polled, over half of all children asked "Do you want to go to the doctor?" replied with an emotional "...

The remaining 20 percent don't seem to remember what happened. The Journal of Roommate Research conducted a study that concluded that almost 80 percent of all roommate responses the following morning include some form of "I...

This segment of "Critter Corner!" from the Onion News Networks' Today Now! investigates the fruit of 15 years of research on anteaters. The zoologist responsible for this stunning work is Dr. Franklin Kearns. The doctor's...

This surprising new Onion News Network report details a new study showing that a overwhelming majority of Alzheimer’s patients are, in fact, perfectly fine. We checked with Uncle June just before the end of the Sopranos and...