The Emmys were such a magical night, such a whirlwind of stars, such a heavenly evening of television royalty...our head is still spinning... No, we didn't watch it either. But, as fate would have it, we did the same number...

Don "Cheeto" Cheadle is a man of action. But behind every man of action is a portly Mexican stuntman who can take punishment. Go ahead and slap him around with a carp, attach electrodes to his nipples and show him pictures of...

We bet Manny and Guillermo had a big salty time on National Tequila Day, which is apparently a separate holiday from Cinco de Mayo. It's a made-up deal, probably "invented" by Sammy Hagar, but who cares? It's Tequila Day! Now...

One of these waterbugs saved another man as a teenage lifeguard in a banana hammock and can still hold his breath under water for 99 seconds. The other man is Guillermo. Give the portly Mexican a break, he made it 50 meters...

Listen Mamacita, Elf didn't suck and your mashed potatoes are always lumpy. And because of your insubordination to Hollywood royalty, Stepbrothers Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are going to work the wiener like a speedbag....

Jimmy Kimmel is merciless when it comes to his amigo security guard. Guillermo admits to being scared of water, heights and exercise, and still has to tackle the "Killer Surf" for his stupid talk show host boss. And for...

Kimmel is even haunting Matt Damon in his digital life. Guillermo is $30 million worth of portly assassin in the The Bourne Conspiracy video game (USA Today says, "it delivers an exhilarating single-player ride for teens and...

You may recall that the best Late Nite video of 2007 was when Guillermo starred in The Bourne Ultimatum. That clipped killed because of the long-standing Kimmel/Damon feud and because Bourne was awesome. This time, Edward...

Tom Silver, a clinical hypnotist, put Uncle Frank, Guillermo and Veatrice under his spell. We've watched it three times and still can't figure out how you can tell. Hey-OH!

We'd like to see Guillermo domesticate that wild animal Kirstin McMillan. Get 'er, Pepe, get 'er. That's a good dog.

Here's another bit from last week's 1000th episode. Poor Guillermo gets stuck playing blindfolded guinea pig (cerdo de Guinea en espanol) as Kimmel and the hot zoologist Kirstin place animals on his noggin. Like that good-for-...

Jeff Ross, the dude who hosts all the celebrity roasts, takes Uncle Frank and Guillermo under his comedic wing. Together, they come up with a short stand-up set and appear live at the Improv. Uncle Frank is wildly...

Jimmy Kimmel is coming to the aid of his under-employed (and presumably whiskey-deprived) writers by running classic clips that will get residual checks mailed (and thus, Jameson purchased.) In this May 2006, clip Guillermo...

The Bourne Ultimatum comes to DVD on Tuesday, so it's a good time to revisit this classic clip. Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have this long-running bit in which Matt (a.k.a Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, Linus Caldwell, Charlie...

Unlike Guillermo, our holiday season never includes palm trees, Michael Bolton, gay pride flags or the annual Hollywood Christmas parade. It does, however, include excess drinking in the company of crazy old people, so......