The Onion News Network reports that Liberty, the floppy-eared defender of democracy, has gone to heaven after meeting his end in Iraq. Liberty was attempting to cheer up shaken troops with a cartwheel, when he triggered a...

If your work doesn't allow you enough time in the day to look at photos of LOLcats, consider outsourcing your paperwork to a guy in India. You'll grow fatter, lazier, and happier, and the trickle-down effect will strengthen...

The US Treasury Department has issued a recall of America's dollars. All of them. Put your money in the Looney Tunes-style dollar sacks provided, and drop them in your mailbox. Otherwise, you will be afflicted with ink...

Think you've suffered through delays and confusion at the airport? You haven't been to Franz Kafka International in Prague. At Kafka International, you are not what you think you are, as you are merely bugs to the bureaucrats.

Sony's latest nondescript black box goes on top of your television and prompts a string of profanity as you uselessly struggle with it. Sony hopes this "time vampire" will leave families across America screaming in pain and...

Well, they've finally done it. Satirical geniuses The Onion have surely sent our nation head-on into a war with a budding superpower. And to think that all it took was a cleverly articulated plot that claimed the Chinese were...

In a shocking news development, the White House announced that a World War II-era internment camp holding Japanese-American citizens was recently discovered to be still in the existence, and fully operational, filled with...

There are great obscure sports stories and then there are GREAT obscure sports stories, like this terrific clip from the always funny Onion News Network. Evidently sepak takraw fan favorite Nguyen Thi Buch Thuy has pissed off...

The Onion News Network's "Undercover Investigative Unit" puts the Transportation Security Administration to the ultimate test. Reporters exposed security lapses by smuggling bomb components onto a Continental Airlines flight,...

It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more? Actually, it's medical miracles week, so we meet a man who survived cardiomyopathy by stealing a dead man's heart! What a treat! And next, we throw knives at child magicians!

Onion News Network anchor Brandon Armstrong talks with executives from Ford, GM and Toyota about the future of the automobile industry. The execs tout advances in hybrid technology, fuel efficiency, and high-tech audio...

Now here's good old-fashioned American planning ahead. In California, a memorial has been erected to honor those who *will* die as a result of the "imminent" yet "preventable" disaster that's sure to come when the Folsom Dam...

This is just more proof that Washington is going that extra mile to make sure "no able-bodied child is left behind." The Onion News Network has the story of a unique school curriculum in Ohio that's giving underprivileged...

Tragedy was narrowly averted today, as Beyonce was nearly hit by a stray bullet from a nearby confrontation.Thankfully, an innocent passerby was hit instead, intercepting the fatal blow. God is clearly on the side of Beyonce'...