There are a lot of things we feign ignorance of to maintain some sort of imaginary, hipsterish cred. Twilight is not one of those things. We're legitimately in the dark. So your guess is as good as ours.

Stephen Colbert delivers a bonus wag of his finger to the “subliminazis” at CNN-International for accidentally-on purpose airing a “Bush Resigns” graphic for 12 whole seconds last week. This wishful treason will not stand,...