Last Saturday, the New York Times raised some eyebrows with its frontpage story about how many times the word "douche" has been uttered on network TV this fall. 

76 if you're keeping score. 

Just go ahead and make the joke...

That's 234 years of kicking ass, taking names and being the best that America's got. (No, we don't necessarily feel that way about all the armed forces.)

The Marines came to be in 1775 because we needed some tough mofos to...

At this point I just want to give a shout-out to all my science teachers from days goneby: Sister Delores Erman, Jeff Hooker, Richard Stiff and the earth science professor at Marquette whose name I forgot. 

You made me what I...

Bill, fresh off his badgering George Clooney in Fantastic Mr. Fox, has taken up reading once again. 

And dressing like a gay French neer-do-well! 

The holidays have come early this year, kids! 

Bad Karma. 

Damn Phillie Phanatic. You never should have swindled the money of your fellow mascots in a Ponzi scheme. 

Have you and your furry green body no shame?

By inviting reticent hipster beardy McDouche Joaquin Phoenix into his house.

That's not true, this kid is much more likable. And coherent.

Not as likable as Ted Williams frozen head in a tunafish can, but you know... Let's...

We love Tom Hanks. We love David Letterman.

It seems a bit odd though that Hanks, the 21st-century Jimmy Stewart, has shown up twice on the Late Show since Dave's affairs with underlings came to light.

Not passing judgement;...

We've been so wrapped up in Dave's personal trials and tribulations that we've forgotten to kick back and enjoy him for what he does best, be a funny motherf*cker night in and night out. 

Plus, when things get slow, we can...

Dave apologizes to his wife, says the philandering is in the past and admits he's got his work cut out him. Dave believes you can't let the bad guys win, but he hurt a loved one in the process and for that, that he's sorry. 

When the going gets tough, the tough get joking. 

Always leave 'em laughing, Dave. Especially the ladies. 

By now, you've probably heard that CBS news producer "Joe" Halderman allegedly tried to extort $2 million from David Letterman in exchange for keeping mum on Dave's office flings (they both dated Stephanie Birkitt.) Once it...

The New York Rangers drop by the Late Show to deliver the "Top Ten Things Never Spoken Before By A Hockey Player."

Anyone out there looking for a Puck Buddy?