In Washington, the "everything but marriage" bill gives gay couples all the rights of their hetero brethren. Now ducks are jumping on the velvet bandwagon. Do the mallards know that in the country of Scandinavia, waterfowl...

Barack Obama may not want the gays to ask or tell, so two man-lovin' mooks from Jersey will take up the cause.

Wait, what? Oh, right. They don't want to get kicked out of the army. All those sweaty soldiers need debriefing.

Maher says it's time, but not because it's the right thing to do, it was a campaign promise and the military has lost valuable minds because they happen to like similar genitalia. No, Maher says the main reason is because it...

We don't know where we stand on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," but we do know our grandfather said in WWII it was known as "foxhole pussy."

Keep in mind, he told us that on his deathbed, wacked out on morphine. We didn't ask, he...