...that don't involve the words "WE'LL DO IT LIVE" or incorporating falafels into attempted phone sex. Sorry folks. You'll have to settle for his efforts at belittling a war veteran. What an ugly human being.

We always thought the worst-case scenario regarding customer service calls was getting thrown in jail for murder. Who hasn't had thoughts of finding the company's call center address, driving/flying/swimming to that location,...

eBay is awesome for old baseball cards and beer posters. "Stuff that looks like other stuff" and penis tattoos? No thank you, interwebs.

Michael Swaim takes a look at the best background characters in viral video... because, after all, everyone knows spotlight-whores Dramatic Chipmunk and Tay Zonday.  It's the little people that make annoying internet memes...

In all honesty, "Sad Grandpa's" concession speech was a downer for us.  To be that honorable, articulate and graceful in defeat...god love the ol' fella.  That said, part of him must have just wanted to unleash the beast and...

We actually may not be the best judge of what constitutes election exploitation; as we type this, we're staring at a crate of "Black Jimmy Stewart" lollipops and waiting anxiously for our Palin thongs.  Give it up for dated...