We don't quite get the Gerard Butler thing, but his Scottish accent does wonders for Craig's cocaine-fueled years, so Failte! actor guy. 

Sometimes, Aquaman gets called away to fight with the fishes; Those Somali pirates aren't going to capture themselves. In his place, Tim Gunn answers all your questions about water-proof wigs and famous lesbians. 

Make blackanade.

Craig Ferguson doesn't need electricity to bring the funny. Although, you'll need it to verify his deft handling of the night the lights went out in Television City.

We're over the slutty nurse thing.

Maybe our libidos waned with age, but we've gotten all angry old man about Halloween.

"Listen, sonny. When I was your age Halloween was all about little kids making crappy homemade costumes...

Our tip for the kids, dress like the Fonz. You'll look cool, get all the chicks and be able to start a pinball machine without quarters. 

What do you mean you don't know who the Fonz is? Or what pinball is?

Youth is wasted on...

This soiree begs a lot of questions:

When did Craig Ferguson get so fat?

When did Elton John get so Craig Ferguson Fabulous?

Is there anything Salman Rushdie won't do for money? 

Is it possible to declare a fatwa against a...

Ever wanted to hear Reba McEntire vividly describing the process of snorting heroin known as "chasing the dragon?"

You haven't?

Prudes.

Do your realize it's been more than 12 years since MMMBop reached #1? And that the youngest Hanson brother will be 24 in two weeks? 

All we can says is, in an mmm bop, they're gone. 

Memories of our youth that is. Oh Hanson,...

The City of Big Shoulders got the cold shoulder from the Olympic committee. What went wrong? Blame Kanye, Oprah Barack and Tim for the one thing they have in common... 

Forgive and forget, let's all get waxed! 

Neil Patrick Harris delivers a reading from page "69" (hee-hee) of American on Purpose. Barney Stinson makes it hot up in here with his talk of big boobs and finger fellatio. All customers should walk away satisfied. 

Everyone's favorite drunken midget reads from America on Purpose. 

He should've used the Louie De Palma voice. 

And you thought Prince Charles' teeth looked gnarly in analog...

Now dance for the Royal Clown, you cockney jesters.

Author/Scotsman Craig Ferguson has a new comic memoir, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot. 

It's a great book, but don't take it from us. Holly Hunter is here to give a dramatic reading. And...

And you thought Grey's Anatomy couldn't get any worse...

Some want to know if jellyfish keep him comfortable while wearing underwear outside of his tights. We want to know why he's stolen the voice of Commander McBragg.