There are a lot of things we feign ignorance of to maintain some sort of imaginary, hipsterish cred. Twilight is not one of those things. We're legitimately in the dark. So your guess is as good as ours.

Check out this video of goth metal band Vampire's Kiss. Now, would you think that was Nic Cage's son Weston? Not the craziness, of course; that we believe. But check out the hair! And the size. That's not Nic Cage material,...