This is a PSA to let you know that now there's a new way to report crimes and emergencies.  By texting 911, you can keep your crime reporting casual, and still be helping stop criminals.

The day after September is typically a day for everyone to head on down to D.C. to protest everything the government is doing, no matter what it is they are doing.  This year, the protest took the form of a "Tea Party" (a...

CNN got the whole news media freaking out about a boat that was near the Pentagon on Friday.  In all fairness, they reported what they heard while scanning the radio, but when you're about to report something of that...

Who knows what kind of point Glenn Beck is trying to make here.  But for over 10 minutes he cycles through so many nutty emotions on his 911 tribute segment.  Things about building skyscrapers that piss him off, who we are (...

As we pass the 8th anniversary of the country's greatest tragedy, many patriotic Americans are somberly observing the occasion by not erecting any new towers, so to speak.

As much as we feared the Michael Jackson 911 call would be embarrassing, the unidentified caller was thankfully calm and informative as he tried to get help for the unconscious star. Sadly, help would arrive too late for the 5

In the flesh, Dick Cheney admits here that there was no evidence that proved Iraq was involved with the terrible events on 9/11.  Was anyone else thinking that we'd be as old as him before the truth started coming out about...

Short Shorts brings you an impromptu birthday inspection, an inappropriately named Buddy Holly cover band, more Cajun Movie Critic, and a lumberjack magician!

Here is a cop that actually did what all potheads have always speculated: confiscating marijuana from a suspect only to do it himself sometime later! Too bad after he and his wife baked the ganja in some brownies, he got so...

Last October, Nadya Suleman called 911 in a panic when her son went missing during a walk. Octomom panics and states over and over that she's going to kill herself, earning her a scolding from the dispatcher. Definitely a...

It was a very unusual day for the 911 dispatcher who picked up the call about the recent chimp attack. Here's proof, the audio of the call, complete with a screaming monkey in the background. Laugh all you want, but that...

Here, the country’s most unpopular pariah sheds some more light on his presidential term, seemingly confident that he’s kept the country from being under attack since 9/11 (with the exception of course, of 9/11.) The kicker?...

Ladies and gentleman, the World's Worst Employee.