Is it time for end-of-the-year retrospectives already? It is when you're Bill Maher and you're headed to hiatus. This season's Real Time didn't have the can't-miss juice of the Obama election cycle, but how could it?...

Maher says it's time, but not because it's the right thing to do, it was a campaign promise and the military has lost valuable minds because they happen to like similar genitalia. No, Maher says the main reason is because it...

Maher isn't referring to douchebags who either hate meat and spit in your breakfast, or those who will only eat bacon that's been cured by blind Scottish Highland shepherds. He's talking about the mixing of food and medicine,...

New Rule: Get off your razor scooters and walk your flabby gunts to the Burger King. 

It'll make the Angry Triple Whopper taste that much sweeter. 

And you can have your coronary artery disease your way. 

Bill Maher takes on the "America has nothing to apologize for, ever" crowd. He notes that "President John F. Kenya" said he believes in American exceptionalism, but understands that other countries might feel the same about...

And most of them are related to trying to be a regular Joe 'Merican and bring us all together.

Not happening. Mr. President. Go back to being the NBA-loving, sushi-eating, shiraz-sipping, Jay-Z-digging, non-golfing, ironic...

Real Time reporter/comedian Dana Gould visits two California health care events on the same day and shows the stark difference between douchebags yelling about Nazis and people in dire need of alieviating their pain.

One is a...

C'mon, Maher! You really let us down here. We expect so much more out of you.

We look forward to "New Rules" every week to learn something we didn't already know.

We may be stupid, but at least we have our health.

Bill Maher is all fired up that his summer vacation meant he was away from the punditry desk for the death of Michael Jackson. To make amends, he comes out with his sardonic guns a-blazin', comparing the dearly departed King...

New Rule, Maher: Be Careful What You Wish For.

...but not THAT funny.  We like the way he tries to be a sensible, but socially liberal, conservative.  We even think some of his jokes are mildly entertaining.  But we'll take The Daily Show or Colbert Report over this dude...

Class of 2009, as you embark upon your lives in these challenging times, heed Bill Maher's words.

Blame your parents for f*cking everything up so bad that you're secretly hoping global warming accelerates and the Earth melts...

We're actually surprised by this; Maher seems like he would know his way around all sorts of newfangled stimulus packages. Maybe he's as "pig ignorant" as the rest of us. Happy "wipe your ass" day, Bill! 

In all seriousness,...