A true American, White House press secretary Theodore Barrett withstood the pressure from America's news media to divulge details of his wife's death and the crippling of his children and instead kept to his talking points at...

The times are a changin', indeed. The FCC is responsible with deciding what is acceptable and unacceptable on radio and television, and their definition of "acceptable" has evolved significantly over the years. The latest...

Perpetual economic slavery suffered a revealing blow as the election riggers at Diebold accidentally leaked the results of the 2008 presidential election. The shadowy overlords of the world declined comment, but Diebold said...

On the Onion News Network’s hard-hitting talk show, In The Know, the panelists discuss an issue of vital national security interest: now that we’ve captured and killed hundreds of terrorists, how do we protect ourselves...

Breaking news from the Onion News Network: To the battlefield over the abortion issue comes a new bill in Congress that would require any woman seeking one to obtain written permission from... her fetus. After watching this,...

The Onion News Network’s hard-hitting talk show “In the Know” tackles a pressing question: are America’s high school seniors prepared for the rigors of college-level drinking? Panelists share their views… and their own hard-...

From the Onion News Network: At long last, Paul Newman receives his just due: a lifetime achievement award from Amnesty International in recognition of his contributions to salad dressings over the years. And we thought he...

The Onion News Network reports on an exciting new line of kids’ clothing from the Gap: “For Kids By Kids.” This is synergy at its best: cheap child labor benefits the Gap’s bottom line, the kids come away with a sense of...

In the latest “In the Know” on the Onion News Network, the panel tackles the compelling and inscrutable question: Do you remember life before the Segway? Tough one, isn’t it? Julianna McKannis sits in as host, as Clifford...

From the Onion News Network: a new study out of UCLA finds that a shocking 70 percent of all praise is sarcastic. What to watch out for: phrases like “Smooth Move,” or “Nice One, Einstein” accompanied by eye-rolling or slow...

Only kidding! But you know that, microphones off, left to their own devices, this is the kind of enlightened discourse that some of our favorite TV pundits would be quite casual about spewing. Sort of a meta question: does...