A math problem: Wranglers cost $20. These shorts are 1/5 the length of a normal pair of jeans. How much should they cost?

Answer: Brett Favre sucks.

Who would take this drug? Pissing yourself, like controlling the TV and being racist, is an inalienable right of the elderly.

Because it's never too early to teach your kid how to be totally awesome and kill people!

According to Dr. Fred Willard (Best in Show, Anchorman), laughter is not the best medicine. Nor is medicine the best medicine. GINGER ALE is the best medicine.

Mattress salesmen have it rough for a lot of different reasons without having to worry about getting labeled as Anti-Semites. Mr. Ken Mister has done two groups of people a grave disservice with this series of commercials.

Apparently, superattractive singer/actress/former American Idol...winner, or finalist, or something Katharine McPhee got some help dealing with the paparazzi crush by an "eccentric local. So, she took the "eccentric local"...

If you A) have actual weapons—swords, knives, guns, etc.— at your disposal and B) are actually looking for trouble, you DO NOT know how to fight like Jackie Chan.

Nothing brings out repressed childhood memories like songs that remind you of being 9 years old and waiting for your dad to pick you up for your weekend visit. We'll be first in line when the 90s edition comes out.

Is your cat boring? You could call these guys. Or just, ya'know, get a dog.

Bald men need not apply. You get that?! NO BALDS ALLOWED.

Is untangling old jewelry too much work? Take the next logical step—poop in an envelope and send it to these guys. They'll take care of it from there.

It seems easy to pile on Nicolas Cage for being a shameless turd who makes, literally, the worst movies in the world...until you look at his IMDB.com page. This fake PSA is just that (fake), but the potential threat of...

Vince is back, and his tongue is stitched up and ready to pawn a useless shitrag to children.  No hookers allowed.

Do you drive a Hyundai? Are you tired of Prius-driving dicks? Stay calm or you'll end up like Andy Richter.

This service got an invaluable upward bump when they hooked up Michael Steele and the RNC.