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The Daily Show's Debate Wrap-Up

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

It ain't pretty. We did our patriotic duty and watched the debate in its entirety, but truth be told, this 10-minute piece would have sufficed. McCain: Jell-O on the wall, knows how to get bin Laden but never thought to tell President Bush, earmarks ad nauseam, Brokaw won't be in his cabinet and enjoys novelty version of Beach Boys sings. Obama: forgot where Joe Biden's from, pals around with terrorists, that one, lots of wonky math....ZZZZZZZZZZ

Colbert Sums Up the Debate...Ladies

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

Colbert said the debate raised more questions than answers: Between McCain and Obama, whose letter to their peers was ignored first? How can McCain's tax credit be used to purchase out-of-state liquor and fireworks? Did Obama kill Amelia Earhart? Will weatherizing your home get you laid?

We are now more confused than ever.

Letterman Reveals John McCain's Huge Debate Gaffe

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

We thought elephants never forget.

Betty White: Angry, Horny

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

The erstwhile Golden Girl finds Sarah Palin to be a mentally unbalanced female dog, but views Barack like a hungry dog eyeing up a big fat steak. What's the female equivalent of Viagra? Obama.

Sarah Vowell Makes Us Happy

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

We are nerds for American history, This American Life and Violet Incredible, so our goddess is the delightfully wry Sarah Vowell. If you've never read her funny looks at history, stock with witty insights and trenchant modern parallels, we suggest Assassination Vacation. But then again, we have a twisted fondness for Leon Czolgosz. Here, she and Dave discuss: her new book The Wordy Shipmates, the shining city on the hill created by a Northeastern elitist, and the lack of media coverage for Sarah Palin. At least we have one charming brainy Sarah making the talk-show rounds.

When Times Are Tough, We Look to Folk Singers

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

The current economic climate is going to give Mad Money's Jim Cramer a heart attack and we need his over-caffeinated fiscal leadership now more than ever. Enter Conan, a Woody Guthrie for the Great Depression II. Everybody Now: "This bank is your bank, this bank is our bank, only cost us $700 billion from some guy named Hank."

We Aren't Kidding About Sarah Vowell

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

Here she is again, this time visiting Jon Stewart to tell how she gets through the dark hours by reading FDR's fireside chats. How can you not love a woman like that? Vowell would never trash New York City after a quick Ground Zero photo-op. After all, if it's American enough for Al-Qaeda, it's American enough for her.

Cubs Lose! Cubs Lose!

Patrick Sauer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

It isn't bad enough the Cubs came into the playoffs as the best team in the National League and pooped Wrigley Field. It isn't bad enough the Cubs took all of the poetic symmetry of winning a World Series on the 100-year anniversary and left it in a steaming pile of errors. It isn't bad enough the Cubs let Manny Ramirez abuse them like a sex slave and LIKED IT. No, the worst thing is listening to a Brit calling them a key demographic in the "stupid vote" and knowing he might be right as rounders.