What if John McCain had a team of girls who did his dirty work for him? It's a novel concept, but it presupposes that McCain can operate a telephone. That, frankly, is a logistical leap we cannot endeavor.

Check out this fake ad for a "local" Boston market. No, not that one. The other one, with the day old cod. Mmmmm...expired flounder. 

Kung Fu is one of select few dork standbys we don't engage in. Thankfully, BWE.tv's Sara Schaefer can't say the same. She seen her fair share, and it's taught her one thing--whether hero or villain, every Kung Fu character...

Another tragedy involving a missing child means another outlet for the misplaced rage and extraordinary ego of CNN's Miz Nancy Grace. We'll let Gladstone speak for us.

Is your wife always nagging you? Does she stop you from hanging out with the fellas? Don't fret--just proceed as usual, even when she's around, and even when "the usual" includes fisting and watersports.

We aren't sure whether to laugh at this fake trailer or write the screenplay. It seems like a decent vehicle for Hilary Swank, does it not?

Best Week Ever's Sara Schaefer only wanted one thing for her birthday, Minnie Mouse's autograph. Tragically, that didn't happen, and tragicall-ier, her mom caught it on video. Beneath her polka dots and rosy cheeks, that...

Someday, television will be like this: instead of endless re-runs of The Men Who Killed Kennedy, we'll watch Jupitune: The Collision of Two Planets in the backseats of our flying cars. 

Sores on your genitals are a small price to pay for mastery of the time-space continuum.

Steve is a mime, and he is bad at his job. Actually, is miming a job? It seems like more of a hobby. Maybe a pastime. Regardless, Steve is a sh--ty mime. Go back to school, son.

If you're elderly and your kitchen catches on fire within 12 blocks of Paul F. Tompkins, don't bother calling 911. Send him an IM, and he'll take care of it.

Meet Derek, your new personal trainer. He makes 150 euros an hour and resents his mother. In exchange for helping you achieve superior arm definition, you will listen to disturbing stories from his past. And you will enjoy it.... ...

In the next installament from Hader and Co., our hero deals with the five-minute rule and a girlfriend who, for some reason, isn't into the whole "spend a couple weeks waiting in line for a movie" thing.

So this mockumentary operates on one premise: what if Arnold Schwarzenegger thought he was a government operative, not an actor...or, um, governor? "Yeah, Arnold, you're actually a cyborg sent from the future. How does that...

See a solid parking spot on the other side of the road? 'Blues Brothers' it. Sure, if you've seen the movie, you'd know this guy's technique is completely wrong, but it might have helped us during our fourth Pennsylvania...