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The First Shots in the "War on Independence Day" Have Been Fired
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The Daily Tube review

Jesus H. Christ did not sign the Declaration of Independence just so some namby-pamby Seattle do-gooder could get the city's fireworks display moved away from an abandoned gas plant. That isn't why Jesus died on the Washington Monument for us. 

Knowing you Schroeder, you probably didn't even bring any presents for pret-ty girls. You meddlesome...

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 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 2:11
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This great video appears on  ColbertNation.com
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Kristen Schaal Makes Us Proud to Be Americans
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The Daily Tube review

Pound sand, Lee Greenwood!

A goofy, feminist, left-leaning, comedienne promoting the Burggie while eating mayonnaise on basic cable?

God bless the UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Happy 4th, y'all.

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 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 5:04
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This great video appears on  TheDailyShow.com
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It's Time For the Rippy Awards for Outstanding Achievement in Obitutainment
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The Daily Tube review

If there is a certainty in the day-to-day reportage of our beloved television news anchors, it's that celebrity deaths bring out their dignified best. Too often, their work during these moments of third-party sadness for the...

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 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 6:53
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This great video appears on  TheDailyShow.com
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We Ruin the Hot Dog Eating Contest Forever
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The Daily Tube review

In the Philippines, an annual parade is held where locals dress up roasted pigs in costume. (No, that's not a joke.) This year's delicious theme? Swine flu!

Enjoy your hot dogs this weekend, Kobayashi.

 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 1:26
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This great video appears on  MSNBC.com
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Dick Cheney Wishes the Troops A Happy 4th of July
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The Daily Tube review

Dick "Sourpuss McMonkeyheart" Cheney hopes that the Iraqi insurgency kicks up so he can say "I told you so" doesn't see the withdrawal of American troops as an opportunity for violent chaos. The former VP isn't on board with...
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 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 2:07
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This great video appears on  TheDailyShow.com
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Food for Thought This Weekend...
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The Daily Tube review

As you rapidly devour your third cheeseburger, in order to be first in line for the patriotically-decorated Bundt cake, take a moment to ponder the words of Missouri state representative Cunthia Cynthia Davis:

"Hunger can be...

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 (by Patrick Sauer) Running Time: 2:38
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This great video appears on  ColbertNation.com
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